We’ve all had that moment. Payday comes and goes, bills start stacking up, and suddenly you realize you haven’t opened your banking app in days, maybe weeks. Not because you don’t care, but because you’re scared. Scared the number won’t match what’s in your head. Scared it will confirm the guilt you already feel about spending. Scared it will remind you of every “I should have known better” moment.
Avoiding your account doesn’t erase the stress or make your money problems go away. It only delays the peace that comes with knowing where you stand. And peace is not something you have to earn when it comes to your money; it’s something you deserve.
I know what it feels like to avoid that screen. To carry the fear of what might be there. To let shame talk louder than reality. But I also know this: Every time you face it, you take back a little piece of control. That courage builds confidence, and confidence changes everything.
So if checking your account feels scary, here are six steps you can take:
1. Change the Energy
Before you open the app, soften the moment. Light a candle. Play your favorite song. Make a cup of tea. When you create calm around the task, you remind yourself that this is not a punishment, it’s care.
2. Remind Yourself Why You’re Here
This is not about replaying every purchase or beating yourself up for what you should have done differently. You are here to gather information. Awareness is the first step toward peace.
3. Start With One Anchor Number
Instead of drowning in all the transactions, begin with one number: your available balance today. That number is not your whole story. It doesn’t define your worth. It’s just a starting point.
You don’t need to comb through every charge in one sitting. Pause after you see your balance. If all you do today is know where you stand, you’ve already shown enough courage.
5. Take One Small Action
Once you’ve looked, take one tiny step forward. Transfer five dollars into savings. Pay one bill. Write down your three biggest expenses for the week. Small steps may feel insignificant, but they build trust in yourself, and that trust is everything.
6. Close With Compassion
When you’re done, remind yourself of what matters: you showed up. Say out loud, “I looked in my bank account today.” Because looking is not about perfection. It’s about courage.
Here’s what I want you to remember: the fear of checking your account isn’t really about money. It’s about what the money makes you feel, such as guilt, shame, anxiety, and regret. But feelings are not facts. And when you face the facts, you open the door to peace.
So the next time fear tells you not to look, remember what you’ve read today. Light the candle. Open the app. See the number. Take one step. Then say, “I showed up today.” And trust that showing up is enough to start again tomorrow.
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